Displaying Review 1 - 5 of 10 in total

• Ravenous Furballs — for Critters
  Written by hodder on 14.09.2009

  Escaping from a maximum security prison asteroid a bunch of cute little furballs make their way to our beautiful planet looking for food. These creatures called Crites have bad teeth, filthy hair and they´re hungry, very hungry. They land in a rural midwest village terrorizing a farmer family. Yet help is on its way as two alien bounty hunters come to Earth in order to kill those ugly parasites.

  After the great success of Gremlins there were many films with nasty little creatures. Most of those were just boring Gremlin imitations but Critters is the exception. The story is not too clever but the actors do a good job and the Crites are quite funny. They have a nice kind of humor speaking their own alien language which is subtitled for those who are not familiar with it. So if you like 80s films, the Gremlin kind of humor and don´t expect too much you will probably have fun watching Critters. Many people did since there were three sequels following the first film from 1986.

• Albert Pyun at his best! — for Cyborg
  Written by hodder on 15.09.2009

  Gibson Rickenbacker (Jean-Claude van Damme) is hunting down bad guy Fender Tremolo (who came up with those names anyway, some guitar-fanatic?), who killed Gibsons family. On his way to revenge he runs into a cyborg holding the formula for a cure against the plague, that is severely downsizing mankind, in its cyber-brains. Fender tries to lay his hands on the cyborg in order to get the cure believing it would make him God. Yet since the cyborg is with van Damme, she gets safely to Atlanta, to the refuge of the last scientists eager to develop the cure. Fender stands no chance against his nemesis and in their last confrontation loses all his followers as well as his life. That´s about it.

  Albert Pyun does not give a rats ass about a complex story with twists and surprises. And as fans of his work we don´t expect that kind of nonsense. We want action, violence and cyborgs in a post-apocalyptic world. That is what Albert Pyun is all about. And that is exactly what we get watching Cyborg. Plus a very young Jean-Claude starring in one of his early movies.

• Extreme use of Firearms — for Nemesis
  Written by hodder on 16.09.2009

  Albert Pyun in his better days. Cyborg as well as his first part of the Nemesis series can be seen as Pyuns best pieces of work ever . Directing Nemesis he actually did have a budget and so this film does not look like the usual cheap trash we expect from Pyun. it is an Sci-Fi Action film for sure and of course it is about cyborgs. The story is minimal and utterly unimportant. There are nice, action-packed shootouts, excessively big guns and the obligatory Post-Apocalyptic-Pyun-World. Oliver Gruner tries hard to compensate his lack of acting abilities as well as his fellow actors of who no one ever made it to the big screen.

  Nemesis is a typical b-movie, yet a very good one. As an action fan you will be delighted as long as you switch your brain off. Albert produced and directed three sequels which have nothing to do with their predecessor. Those films are so bad it must be considered a waste of time to watch them. Go see the first, enjoy and just forget about part 2-4!

• Muscels from Brussels — for Bloodsport
  Written by hodder on 21.09.2009

  Van Damme does what he knows best - fight! Bloodsort is the true story of Frank Dux, a very talented martial artist, participating in a brutal underground fighting tournament in Hong Kong. There is no real plot, of course, but the fighting choreography is very good, as far as we keep in mind that this is an 80s flick. Compared to what we are use to seeing today, Bloodsport can be considered quite boring with very unrealistic fighting sequences. The always sweating Muscles from Brussels doesn´t even try acting. So what? That´s not what we want him do do, we want him to fight and do his awesome karate-tricks. Very good, ´cause that is what we get. Van Damme may have lost it in recent times producing only B-movie crap, but back in 1988 he really had what it takes to make a fine, entertaining, action-packed film.

  "Very good, but brick never hit back"

• What the F**k? — for Martyrs
  Written by hodder on 21.09.2009

  What is this? We had quite some nice snapshots from this movie recently. Yet I don´t remember having seen a film more disgusting than this one. Is this supposed to be art? Then I don´t get it. the first part is very good stuff, you watch the beginning and really get into it. It´s intense and the plot appears to be very promising. Then the whole thing turns, it must be the last 45 minutes when you just think (well, I just thought) when will this be over? Please dismiss me from this horrible film! What sick-weirdo-bastard is responsible for this piece of trash anyway? I always watch a film all the way untill the end, and I was never so close to turning the TV of watching Martyrs. Is there anyone who actually liked it? Then please explain to me why. Maybe I am missing the point, ignoring a great piece of art? But I sincerely doubt it.

  Concluding there is to say the opening of Martyrs is powerful and very promising. And that´s it. Nothing more, just disgusting. Rating it one star is way tooooo much...