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Legion (2010)

100 minutes of bullshit. — Written by oldzia999 on 21.04.2010

Legion is one of those movies whose trailer and poster look impressive, and then after watching it you can’t believe you’ve fallen for that again. But to be completely fair to this movie I guess I have to split it into categories, and judge each of them separately. So I will look at: the story, acting, the visuals, and the directing.
The story gets 4/10. I know it might be harsh, but that’s just my opinion. So what’s the movie about? Well apparently God isn’t the merciful and loving Father anymore. He runs out of patience for the sins and for the evil that plagues the world. And so He sends the angels to destroy us. They don’t come in their own form though, but possess the bodies of people (but don’t worry, only the weak ones). Once possessed your eyes change to black and you get tiny, sharp teeth (what’s the purpose of this I’ve no idea) and you speak with this deep, hoarse voice. Also they bring flies with them wherever they go, walk on walls and just swear a lot. But don’t despair because not all is lost. And that’s because the archangel Michael (Paul Bettany, The Da Vinci Code) still believes mankind only needs to be shown the way. To help us, Michael disobeys the direct orders from God, and goes off to find Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) an eight months pregnant girl whose child (for unknown reasons) is mankind’s only hope of survival. Why that particular child is so important or how it is going to save the world, Michael doesn’t say. He just finds Charlie along with a group of other people working at a diner, somewhere in the Mojave Desert. Obviously the bad angels quickly find them too, and the people, along with their savior try to stay alive. Once they manage to fight those off, there’s still Gabriel. Another archangel who just doesn’t share Michael’s views and is the only one that will be able to kill the child once it’s born (confusing? Wait till you watch it)
I think the screen writers wanted to create something original, that would send a message to all who see Legion. Unfortunately it seems they must have had a deadline or something, because what they came up with to me really doesn’t make any sense. It’s even difficult to explain. Michael loves people, because like he says: “God always only told us to love them”. But other angels don’t seem to have any second thoughts when it comes to killing them and say things like (I quote):”I said your fucking baby is going to burn. You’re all gonna burn!” And the possessed people are always they ones you would least expect to be violent like old ladies, children or the ice-cream man. Yet another attempt to be different. There’s also a fight sequence between the two archangels, where Gabriel pulls a John McClane and stabs himself to get Michael, and somehow manages to get less injured than him. Just ridiculous!

The acting gets 6/10. I was pleasantly surprised with the acting. At least Paul Bettany’s Michael was quite convincing. And when I wasn’t paying much attention to one particular actor, they all seemed to play their part well. Maybe except for Gabriel (Kevin Durand) who just wasn’t as mighty and scary as he was made out to be. I could elaborate on this, but there’s only so much one can say about a few people, since the possessed people weren’t acting, they just were.

The visuals get 7/10. With the exception of the possessed whose concept I found just boring, the visuals were really nice. Had I switched off the sound (which was tempting because the dialogues weren’t that interesting) I would have got the feel of the movie. It was meant to be dark and mysterious and maybe even a little scary. And the wings of the angels were very impressive, all big and black. It all had a nice touch, unfortunately just wasn’t enough to save the entire movie.

The directing just like the movie gets 4/10, and that’s because the director Scott Stewart is also the co-writer of the script. That means I can partially blame him for inflicting this movie on our population. I guess it would have been worse if God told us to watch it over and over again along with the last of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie trilogy rather than sending angels to kill us. What I don’t understand is why Stewart would even take this upon himself, since he was only part of the visual effects team in a few movies. Just because you witness movies being shot does not mean you can do it yourself. I can only say that he proves that “beautifully” with Legion.

So to sum up (although I don’t think that’s even necessary) do watch Legion if: you have absolutely nothing to do and you feel like you’re going to kill yourself out of boredom otherwise or if you have lost your job, your girlfriend/boyfriend is sleeping with someone else, and you need reassurance that there are still people that screw something up more than you.

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Legion Reviews

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