If, 20 years ago, I said to you that they would be making films based on toys you'd have probably laughed in my face. However, with Transformers (and it's sequel), Bratz and upcoming films based on everything from Stretch Armstrong to Monopoly, toys are very much in vogue. The latest is G.I Joe: Rise of Cobra, based on the figures of the same name (the USA's answer to Action Man). Directed by Stephen Sommers, who has a proven track record when it comes to fun Summer blockbusters, and with a decent cast of good-looking young talent, G.I Joe only has to achieve a tone of fun, camp silliness to get my thumbs up. Unfortunately it doesn't. For a start, it's way way too long. 2 hours for this type of film is excessive to say the least. Action scenes that could have been fun and effective are dragged out way longer than is necessary, and so essentially just become loud noises and pretty pictures. It feels like your watching a kid playing with their toys. Add to that, every character has a ridiculous accent (Christopher Eccleston is Scottish. Sienna Miller is American. The big black guy from the Mummy is cockney) as well as completely superflous flashbacks. Honestly every character, no matter how minor, is given an extensive backstory. There are flashes of what this film could have been, i.e fun, silly, irrevent. Instead, Sommers clearly thinks he's making Citizen Kane rather than a film based on a toy. G.I Joe just ends up coming across as Team America: World Police played straight. An American superteam go around policing the World, causing inadvertant havoc. Heck, even Paris gets destroyed. It all leads to a completely ridiculous final third, full of stupid twists that make no sense, clearly just there to set up a sequel. This film was way more boring than it should have been. To go into a film like G.I Joe expecting a classic is a massive delusion, but it isn't too much to ask to expect some silly mindless fun. Instead, we get a film that takes itself too seriously, is about 30 minutes too long, features awful dialogue and preposterous plotpoints and character motivations. Yawnsville. Sienna Miller looked hot though
cosmobrown's Reviews
Displaying Review 36 - 40 of 44 in total
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Some films can entertain, some can inform; some can move you and some can manipulate you into feeling a certain way. Some make you laugh, make you cry, make you feel anger or relief. Some films can inspire you. It's a rare film that can do all of the above, and cause you to run the full gauntlet of emotions over a 2 and a half hour timespan. Sean Penn's Into the Wild is that rare film. For his third directorial effot, Penn chose to adapt Jon Krakauer's bestselling book about Christopher McCandless who, after graduating college, leaves all his wordly positions behind, burns all his money and just travels all across America, literally "into the wild, with the ultimate goal being to reach Alaska. On this journey, he meets so many life-changing people, experiences so many incredible events and discovers so much more about himself and about life, nature and the human propensity for good. Emile Hirsch is stunning in the leading role. Essentially it is just him on screen alone for large chunks of this film and he holds us superbly. We are with him through the good and the bad times. He is our philosophical and intellectual guide through this strange new world. His journey does see him cross paths with a range of life-changing characters, from Catherine Keener's hippy surrogate mum figure, to Vince Vaughn's fun loving farmer, to Twilight's Kristen Stewart and many more in between. The real highlight is Hal Holbrook though. The relationship between him and Hirsch is a beautifully tender and touching thing. Penn's writing and direction is flawless. The photography is stunning, capturing the beauty of the natural world, and Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder's original music is note perfect. Watching Into The Wild, I wanted to be Alexander Supertramp (McCandless renames himself this after he destroys his identification). His story inspired me. I wanted to get up and go. To leave this materialistic bullshit world behind and just go, disappear into the World, discover new things about people, about life, about the World, and most importantly about myself. Yes, this is a powerful and inspiring film indeed.
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The story goes like this; Peter Jackson, the man behind the Lord of the Rings trilogy and general genuis, handpicked visual effects artist and music video director Neill Blomkamp to direct a film based upon the Halo video games. Unfortunately the financing fell through, but Jackson still wanted to work with Blomkamp, and so offered the South African $30 million to make the project of his choice. He decided to expand his short film Alive in Joburg. The result is District 9. We've been tantalisingly teased for months now with plot snippets and viral clues all over the internet, Cloverfield style, and the excitement and hype for this film is at fever pitch. While it isn't as impressive or original as Cloverfield, District 9 is still worthy of your time. Part political allegory, part science fiction, part action, part David Cronenberg-ian body horror, District 9 is an interesting melange of ideas and styles, some more impressive and effective than others. Initially adopting the documentary style, incorporating found footage, CCTV recordings etc, Blomkamp uses various visual styles to keep things interesting, and this opening third of the film is easily the most effective of the film. Anyone with a basic knowledge of modern African history will be able to connect the dots and notice the allusions in this film to the apartheid and racial segretation which elevates this above other similar films. These interesting and clever ideas seem to be ditched or forgotten about though come the films conclusion, as does the documentary style since we're watching events that are clearly not being filmed by CCTV etc, so the validity of the style is compromised. The film turns into an action movie, with computer game-like weaponery and lots of gore, and a buddy-movie mentality. It is enjoyable and well done, but it feels out of loop with what came before it. Acting wise, it's a mixed bag. Sharlto Copley is absolutely superb, even more impressive when you consider that this is his first acting job and that he's a visual effects technician by day. His character runs the gaunlet of emotions, and Copley handles it all with aplomb. The rest of the characters are mere cartoon caricatures. Initially, District 9 is a film with lots to say. It's an intelligent slice of science fiction, using the genre to say some interesting things. It does descend to your standard action movie staples come the end though, and the brains seem to be left behind. Well made, entertaining, at times thought provoking, District 9 should be applauded for trying something different within a tried and tested formula, but it is a disjointed film which could have been all the better if it stuck to it's initial convictions. It's still a supremely enjoyable, well made and exciting film, and better than 99% of the other films currently polluting your local multiplex.
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The romantic comedy sub-genre has to be one of the most staid, tired, formulaic and generic forms of cinema around. It's become a safe formula; a guarenteed money maker but completely forgettable and with little artistic merit. A recent example would be The Proposal. It's a lazy, cliched film, with a ridiculous high concept plot and contrived plot points, none of which feel authentic. The same cannot be said of (500) Days of Summer. Everything about this film feels authentic and real. Every situation, every scenario seems plausible and connected with me on a personal level. These characters don't meet in a cute way (they meet boringly at their workplace), there's no mad misunderstanding, the relationship doesn't break up and then is magically fixed in a frantic final scene. This film deals with reality. The characters act like real people would in their situation. They experience the giddy, euphoric highs that love can generate, but also the bleak, soul-crushing lows too. Director Marc Webb finds new and exciting ways to represent these emotions, while Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel are note perfect in their roles. The film has an interesting and unique structure running through it, jumping between the 500 days that represent the relationship, so we can start on day 400 when the relationship is falling apart and then skip to day 17 when it's burgeoning. It's brilliantly done, and keeps the film feeling fresh and interesting. So likeable is the film and the characters that you start to pine for the happy ending that you know inevitably isn't coming. (500) Days of Summer is definitely the most original, connective and authentic romantic comedy in recent memory (perhaps of all time). Like any relationship, it's at times brilliant, beguiling, triumphant, tender, touching, sad, beautiful, profound but never less than real. Absolutely fantastic. The surpise hit of 2009 for me.
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In the 14th century, Dante's Divine Comedy spoke of the 9 stages of Hell. In the 21st century, an 10th stage of Hell was added, and it's name is Dance Flick. It's the latest spoof film from the impossibly-large Wayans family, the guys behind the Scary Movies. Honestly, lift up a rock and more Wayans family members will scurry out like cockroaches. It's directed by a Wayans (Damien Dante), written by five Wayans (Keenan Ivory, Shawn, Marlon, Craig, Damien Dante) and starring no less than 9 Wayans (as well as the aforementioned we have Damon, Kim, Craig, Michael and Cara Mia). How can such a large family have so little talent? Even the Baldwins have a better success rate than that. As you can imagine, Dance Flick is seven shades of shit. Entirely devoid of laughs, it's simplistic, juvenile, stupid and just plain unfunny. You could see the tumbleweed blow past after every one-liner sunk like the Titanic. Not only that, but the film is incredibly offensive, primarily to black people (staggering considering it was made by a family of black men). How any black person can watch this film and not be offended is beyond me. Every character is such a broad offensive stereotype, it's so stupid. Not to mention the odd range of references the Wayans throw at us. Naturally, there's Step Up, Honey, You Got Served etc, but Black Snake Moan? Why? Because there's a black man in it? Thats literally the Wayans level of thinking. So stupid, pointless, and unfunny. No one was laughing in the cinema, you could literally hear every cough, mutter and popcorn rustle, which was a postive thing because anyone who laughs at this film needs some serious help. The Wayans family have brought nothing positive to the world of cinema, and Dance Flick is a new low. Pointless, stupid, inept, offensively bad. Good for a laugh, but not in the way that the Wayans brothers probably intended.
