(spoilers ahead)
I remember when I saw Mamma Mia and gave it 1/10. Then I came back home I looked around the box office results from all over the world and I said „well, this is what passes for entertainment nowadays”. And as I was watching Kick Ass, with usual starting point of 60 points, to which as the movie is progressing I'm adding or taking away the points, as it was going down and down and down again until it finally reached 1/10 10 minutes before the ending, to which I couldn't bring myself to and I still haven't seen this till the end, nor I ever plan to, I knew it was a bad movie, shockingly bad movie. But then I saw all the reviews, amazing reviews and couldn't believe it. It is official – the world has gone mad. First „Avatar” gets Golden Globe, then „The Hurt Locker” gets Academy Award and now this passes for a good movie.
Dear reader, I'm not a virtuous person. When someone attacks I attack back. I'd anything for survival, I'd probably be capable of killing someone had the circumstances required it. I don't turn my eyes away from gore, I can stare at photos of real corpses, I don't mind seeing blood. But even I have to follow Roger Ebert and call this „morally reprehensible movie”. I get this is a comic book adaptation, so I'm ok with the complete and utter lack of any logic. I get that this is supposed to be comedy and dialogues and scenes are supposed to be absurd. But I cannot believe somebody actually shot it and other people liked it. And my favorite movie is Fight Club, I totally understand Mickey and Mallory Knox and I'd probably hug Patrick Bateman.
Example one – father shoots his daughter, She is wearing a bulletproof vest, sure, but her legs, arms and head are unprotected. Yet they are both happy, father shoots her with smile on his face and she says he can do this again if she gets ice cream. I'm torn between declaring this „disgusting” or „disturbing”.I'm gonna go with “sick”
Example two – That same girl is being trained by her father to kill people, she kills around 40 of them in the movie, in a very horrific matter and she swears more than I do on my bad day. Why? 'Cause apparently critics will call this good movie and people will laugh.
Example three, this is my favorite one – that same girl is being beaten senselessly by grown man, spits blood, cries. Oh my god. This is so hilarious.
I judge the critics who said it's a good movie, I judge that little girl's parents who let her to be in this „movie” and I judge all the ones who crawl on imdb and so on and gave it 10. But laugh all you want, the world is a jungle, violence is funny. Apparently no matter how lame it is.
But how is this a good movie? The most terrible feeling the viewer can have whilst watching comedy is when he sees that something was supposed to be funny, but it is not. It's just plain embarrassing. It's bad enough when it happens once or twice in the movie, but here it happens all the time. I actually got a headache from watching this movie. And then I was angry I wasted perfectly good two hours on this.
As for the alleged originality – so I take it in the scene where our hero finally gets into his ridiculous costume and goes out to fight the crime and gets stabbed I should go „omg! It's so unique! I must vote it 10!”. Well I did, only in 100 scale. Was it supposed to be funny only because usually superheroes win? Very lame attempt, I was neither impressed nor amused. I get it - it was the "reallistic approach". But then again when you mix reallistc approach to superhero story, with extreme violence and situations that would never occur in real life you only get one thing. Huge mess.
The movie is so chaotic, it's like jumping channels on tv for 120 minutes – nothing makes sense, everything looks cheap, nothing interests you. The film goes from mindless gore to unfunny intentionally funny scenes only to reach pathos and shocking brutality. Newsflash to the director – you are not Quentin Tarantino. Apparently you want to be – being the producer of “Snatch” and “Lock, stock...” both fantastic movies. Clearly you learned nothing, sir. I hated your "Layer Cake" too.
The soundtrack is another abomination. I read somewhere John Murphy is actually responsible for this, if so shame on him too, but why did he let them use his superb „Sunshine (Adagio In D Minor)”? I was fighting hard the urge to stop watching right there and then - it was painful to listen to it, especially that the scene during which it was played had definitely proved me right.
I wanted to give it 0/10 but no. „Antichrist” has to be the worst movie ever, Lars always has to be on the bottom, trapped with this and „Mamma Mia”. Movie goers – let's all chip in and send Nic Cage some money, he surely seems to be desperate. Mark Strong is too good to be in this movie and the unforgettable McLovin's talent is underused. But with so many crimes the creators committed, let's not worry about misdemeanors.
PS: I wanna save all of you good people from watching this so to give you the impression of how bad it was – Had this movie featured scene where Robert Downey Jr and George Clooney made out for five minutes, I'd still rate it 1.
PS2: I watched the movie till the end. didn't help.
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